"What is Happening in Treatment Settings for a 17-Year-Old Who Says 'I Had No Friends': A Discussion on Media Dependency"

Youth Spent 8 Hours a Day Only on Screens

Even after returning from school, there are no plans to meet anyone. No club activities. No reason to go outside. Enter the room, boot up the computer, and start gaming. Before you know it, it's night, and the same routine repeats the next day.

For Jonas, a 17-year-old living in Nuremberg, Germany, this was once his daily life. On busy days, he spent up to 8 hours in front of a screen. Games, videos, social media. Initially, it was just a way to kill time. But before long, it consumed his friendships, school life, hobbies, and daily rhythm.

The catalyst was the COVID-19 pandemic. With restrictions on going out and instability in school life, "chance encounters" and "reasons to go outside" disappeared from children's lives. Jonas, too, began gaming to fill the void. There was a sense of achievement, a feeling of camaraderie, and rewards that were clearer than in reality.

However, the more time spent on screens, the more real life dwindles. Friends disappear, hobbies vanish, and progress at school halts. In his own words, all his free time was inside the computer.

Media dependency is not just a light issue of "looking at your smartphone too much" or "playing games too much." The problem is not just the length of screen time itself, but the resulting collapse of the foundation of life, such as sleeping, eating, learning, exercising, interacting with people, and self-care.

Increasing Numbers of "Youth Whose Lives Are Taken Over by Media" in Treatment Settings

The turning point for Jonas to rebuild his life was a three-month treatment prompted by his mother. At a hospital in Nuremberg, he participated in individual counseling and group therapy, gradually reclaiming time outside of screens.

The goal he set during treatment was to regularly attend a fitness gym. Instead of quitting games entirely at once, he filled his free time with other activities. He increased responsibilities and schedules in his life. He rebuilt small achievements outside the screen. Through such accumulation, Jonas moved away from a life of playing games for hours on end.

He still plays games today, but no longer for 8 hours straight. He has a part-time job, a girlfriend, and can face school life. It's closer to a "redesign of life not swallowed by dependency" rather than a "graduation from dependency."

According to experts in Nuremberg, the number of young people seeking consultation for problematic media use has increased since the pandemic. Those particularly at risk are boys around 14-15 years old, children with ADHD tendencies, children with depression or social anxiety, and those with experiences of bullying or failure at school.

Dependency cannot be explained solely by the individual's lack of willpower. The more isolated a child is in reality, the more they are drawn to the immediate reactions and approval within the screen. The more a child struggles at school, the more they find a place in the victories, defeats, and rankings within games. The more unstable a child's friendships, the harder it becomes to let go of notifications and messages on social media.

Lifestyle Deterioration Manifests in Tooth Brushing and Showering

The severity of media dependency cannot be measured by declining grades or staying up late alone. Experts focus on the details of daily life.

No longer meeting friends. Skipping school. Not doing homework. Sleeping late. Irregular meals. Reduced frequency of brushing teeth. Even showering is postponed. These changes are not just signs of rebellion or laziness but signs that the entire lifestyle is being reorganized around screens.

At a rehabilitation facility in Berchtesgaden, programs for young people with media dependency are also conducted. Many of the children there reportedly skipped school to use games, social media, and video streaming. Through treatment, they learn how to deal with emotions and use free time through sports, art therapy, pottery, and group activities.

What's important here is that the treatment doesn't just aim to "take away the smartphone." Children gradually put into words why they escape into screens, what real anxieties they are avoiding, and what makes them feel at ease. Without seeing the loneliness and anxiety behind the dependency, simply taking away the devices is unlikely to lead to a fundamental solution.

Unlike Alcohol Dependency, "Complete Severance" is Difficult

One reason why treating media dependency is difficult is that it's unrealistic to completely cut off digital devices.

With alcohol or drugs, it's easier to set a goal of "not consuming at all" after treatment. However, in modern society, it's difficult to live without using smartphones or computers entirely. School communications, homework, interactions with friends, part-time jobs, administrative procedures, news, maps, traffic information—digital devices are embedded in every aspect of life.

Therefore, recovery from media dependency involves learning "how to use" rather than "not using." This is extremely challenging because the object of dependency is in your pocket every day, ringing notifications, and intruding during idle seconds.

Moreover, social media, video services, and game apps are designed to keep users engaged for long periods. The next video auto-plays. Victory rewards are given. There are login bonuses. Notifications arrive. Short videos flow uninterrupted. Fighting such designs with personal effort alone is a significant burden for children.

On Social Media, "Should Be Banned" vs. "Banning Won't Solve It"

Regarding youth media dependency, two major reactions are seen on social media.

One is the support for age restrictions and smartphone usage limits. Opinions, mainly from the parent generation, include "there's a limit to what can be restricted at home," "rules should be made by schools and society as a whole," and "if children can't let go of their smartphones due to fear of being left out by friends, it's better to restrict them as a whole."

Particularly, with the start of a system in Australia restricting SNS account ownership for those under 16, similar discussions are spreading in Europe. On social media, reactions include "even if it's not a perfect system, it provides material for parents to explain to children," "it gives children an excuse to quit SNS," and "it's unreasonable to place the responsibility for dependency solely on individuals or families."

On the other hand, there are strong opposing opinions. Many users are concerned about the potential need for identification or facial recognition for age verification. There's anxiety that if all users are required to verify their identity under the guise of protecting children, privacy and anonymity may be compromised.

Additionally, many voices say, "Even if banned, children will find loopholes." VPNs, age falsification, alternate accounts, using parents' devices—there are countless technical workarounds. One SNS user pointed out that when looking at students' screen time at school, quite a few use it for long hours, arguing that understanding the reality and education are needed more than simple bans.

On forums like Reddit, even more vivid parental voices stand out. Posts include "sending messages until late at night," "fiercely rebelling when the smartphone is taken away," "even if restriction apps are installed, children share workarounds among themselves," and "being told parents are too strict, but there's no need to message at 3 a.m."

Among them, there are posts from parents saying their children showed strong anxiety after SNS bans. They feel uneasy without notifications, anxious about not knowing what friends are doing, and fearful of being left out. This indicates that the problem of dependency is not just "can't stop because it's fun," but is deeply connected with peer pressure and anxiety about isolation.

Reasons Why "Blaming Parents" Isn't Enough

On social media, the opinion that "parents should just manage it properly" is also strong. Of course, household rules are important. Not using smartphones at the dining table. Not bringing devices into the bedroom. Charging in the living room. Turning off notifications at night. Such specific rules are effective in protecting children's lives.

However, making parents solely responsible for the problem is unrealistic. This is because the services children use do not end within the household. Friendships, the atmosphere in school, trends, in-game events, influencers, algorithms, advertisements, and payment designs—all these influence children from outside the home.

When parents impose restrictions alone, children feel "left behind." Not being able to use apps that friends use can lead to anxiety about being excluded. That's why many parents seek both "household rules" and "social rules."

Meanwhile, parents' own usage is also questioned. Experts point out that children see parents looking at their smartphones at the breakfast table. Even if they tell children to "put down the smartphone," if adults are constantly reacting to notifications and looking at screens during conversations, it lacks persuasiveness.

Media dependency is not just a problem for children. It's an issue intertwined with the design of the entire household, school, platform, and society.

The Danger Lies Not in "Time" but in "Replacing Life"

How many hours a day constitutes dependency? This is a question many are concerned about. However, it's difficult to judge based solely on time.

For example, even the same three hours can mean different things depending on whether you're engaging in creative activities with friends, researching for homework, or watching videos aimlessly. In games, there's a difference in severity between enjoying it for a set time with friends and continuing to play even at the expense of skipping school.

More important is what media use is taking away from life.

Is sleep being sacrificed? Are you able to go to school? Are you able to eat, bathe, and brush your teeth? Do you have time to meet friends in person? Are you exercising? Do you experience strong anxiety or irritability when not using screens? Do you react with verbal abuse or intense rebellion when cautioned?

If such changes are observed, it may not just be "overuse," but a stage where support is needed.

What's Needed is Not a Binary Choice Between Prohibition or Freedom

Discussions about youth media dependency often tend to become a binary choice of "should it be banned" or "should they be allowed to use it freely." However, in reality, the solution lies in the middle.

What children need is not to be completely isolated from digital media. As long as they live in the future society, they cannot remain unrelated to social media, AI, videos, games, and online communities. That's why they need to learn how to use them.

However, leaving them to "learn on their own" is too much, given the powerful design of platforms. Since mechanisms are in place to capture children's attention, extend their stay, and stir their emotions, not only households but also school education, healthcare, administration, and platform regulations need to be coordinated.

Specifically, measures such as avoiding bringing smartphones into bedrooms, having everyone put down devices during meals, clarifying smartphone usage rules at school, providing early consultation windows for children with dependency tendencies, and demanding design restrictions for minors from SNS companies are necessary.

What Jonas's recovery shows is that to step away from screens, there needs to be a place outside the screen to return to. For him, it was the gym, work, a girlfriend, and school life. Simply being told to "stop" isn't enough; people can't endure emptiness. To escape dependency, alternative time, relationships, and a sense of achievement are needed to fill the void.

What Can Adults Offer to Children Escaping into Screens?

The issue of media dependency is not about children losing to smartphones. Rather, it's about the screen becoming the easiest, quickest, and least hurtful escape when the real world becomes uncomfortable for children.

What's needed is not just taking away devices from children. It's increasing safe places on the reality side. Schools where they can return even after failure, friendships that aren't overly comparative, activities where they can gain a sense of achievement outside the screen, medical and support windows where they can consult before clashing with parents. Without such support, children will return to the screen again.

On social media, voices calling for regulation, those advocating for freedom, those questioning parental responsibility, and those criticizing platform design intersect. None of these is a complete answer. However, at least it's common that many people don't feel "it's fine as it is now."

Jonas still plays games. However, he no longer plays for 8 hours straight. This may seem like a small change. However, recovery from dependency is likely a process of gradually reclaiming life, not a dramatic severance.

The issue is not just how many hours children spend looking at smartphones. It's whether there's a reality they can return to after closing the screen.

Source URL

Article by Germany's TZ on the media dependency experience of 17-year-old Jonas, treatment settings in Nuremberg, expert comments, and discussions on SNS age restrictions
https://www.tz.de/welt/bis-zu-acht-stunden-taeglich-mediensucht-mit-dramatischen-folgen-zr-94306232.html

DAK-Gesundheit: Overview of media usage behavior among German children and youth, and surveys on SNS, gaming, and video viewing
https://www.dak.de/dak/gesundheit/psychische-gesundheit/sucht/mediensucht-bei-jugendlichen_46682

DAK-Gesundheit: Survey announcement on media dependency and AI chatbot usage in 2026
https://www.dak.de/presse/bundesthemen/kinder-jugendgesundheit/dak-suchtstudie-untersucht-jugendtrend-ki-chatbots-erhoehen-riskanten-medienkonsum_164470

Klinikum Nürnberg: Official information on media usage treatment for children and youth, group therapy, and parental involvement
https://www.klinikum-nuernberg.de/behandlung/seelische-gesundheit/kinder-/-jugendpsychiatrie/medientherapie

Charité Berlin: Overview of the "MeKi" project for rehabilitation against media dependency in children and youth
https://medizinsoziologie-reha-wissenschaft.charite.de/forschung/rehabilitationsforschung/medienabhaengigkeit_bei_kindern_und_jugendlichen_meki

Australia eSafety Commissioner: Official information on SNS account restrictions for those under 16, implementation status, and concerns about age verification and privacy
https://www.esafety.gov.au/about-us/industry-regulation/social-media-age-restrictions

Australian Government: Official explanation of the SNS minimum age system
https://www.infrastructure.gov.au/media-communications/internet/online-safety/social-media-minimum-age##HTML_TAG_