Finding a Place for Painful Feelings on the Other End of the Phone: The Role of "Telephone Counseling" in an Era of Increasing Loneliness and Anxiety

Introduction: The Presence "Beyond the Phone" as Support on Lonely Nights

Loneliness and anxiety are emotions that are easy to attribute to personal weakness because they are invisible. However, in reality, there are many people who feel similarly distressed and want to talk to someone but cannot.

German reports depict a scene where an elderly woman living alone calls a helpline saying, "I have no one left to talk to." No special incident has occurred. Yet, she feels her mind is "off track" and cannot find peace. In such times, a helpline is chosen as someone to talk to "right now." tagesspiegel.de

What is Germany's "TelefonSeelsorge": Over 1.2 Million Calls Reflecting the "Temperature of Society"

Germany's helpline (TelefonSeelsorge) has long functioned as anonymous support for those in distress. According to the article, more than "1.2 million calls" were received in 2025, maintaining the same level as the previous year. tagesspiegel.de

What is noteworthy is "what topics are prevalent." Ludger Storch, the president of TelefonSeelsorge Deutschland and a leader in the field, explains that the core of the consultations is not only "relationship issues" such as love and family but also the absence of relationships—namely, loneliness. His words that "many people are at a loss and seek 'relief of burden' to regain calm" indicate that the helpline is more of a place to "unwind the heart" than a place for "advice." tagesspiegel.de

What Issues Are Most Common: Loneliness as the "Largest Theme"

The article conveys that, in addition to loneliness and anxiety, the following serious themes also emerge during consultations.

• Despair, Loss of Hope, Sadness

• Suicidal Thoughts (Feelings of Wanting to Die)

• Victims of Sexual Violence

• Addiction (Alcohol, Drugs, etc.)

• Mental Illness and Psychological Distress tagesspiegel.de

The important point here is that not only "serious problems" are brought to the helpline.
For example, the article introduces a consultation from a man who wants to calm down because he feels he might "resort to violence due to stress with his partner." He considers wanting to "stop himself" and consults before the impulse becomes reality. This is an example showing that helplines have the potential to stop people "just before a crisis." tagesspiegel.de

Who Uses It: About Two-Thirds Are Women, Ages 50-70 Are the Largest Group

According to the article, "about two-thirds of the users of the helpline are women," and the age group "50-70 years old is the largest." tagesspiegel.de

This tendency is not about "women being weaker."
Rather, it may be influenced by cultural and role expectations that make it easier or harder to seek help, and forms of isolation (caregiving, separation, changes in work, etc.). Statistics from helplines tend to reflect "the structure of society" more than individual personalities.

Younger Generations Prefer "Online Over Phone": About 90,000 Chats and Emails in 2025

Another significant change in recent years is the "means of consultation." The article states that younger people tend to choose chat or email over phone calls, with about 90,000 online contacts in 2025. The main users are in their 20s to 40s, and the content often includes fears such as "scared of exams" or "scared of interacting with people." tagesspiegel.de

What is being described here is not just "simple nervousness," but cases where the loss of social contact progresses to a state close to social anxiety. After the COVID-19 pandemic, some people find it more difficult than expected to restore human relationships—this reality is reflected in the increase in online consultations. tagesspiegel.de

Why Anxiety Increases: The Aftermath of the Pandemic and the Shadow of Distant Wars

The article states that in addition to social isolation after the pandemic, wars and conflicts in places like Gaza and Ukraine can "further intensify existing anxieties." tagesspiegel.de

Even just watching the news can increase your heart rate. You can't sleep. You're scared of the future.
These reactions are not "overthinking," but natural responses that can occur when people are continuously exposed to crisis information. Especially for those who are already anxious or lack stability in their lives, distant events can feel like a "forecast of their own life's collapse."

"Regional Differences" and "Attribute Anxiety" Also Appear in Consultations: Fluctuations in Multicultural Areas, Fears of LGBTQ+

The article also touches on how helpline workers feel regional differences. In areas with many people from diverse cultural backgrounds, there is a tendency for anxiety about whether "the freedom and safety they have enjoyed will continue to be maintained." Furthermore, it is mentioned that homosexuals sometimes express fears of discrimination or oppression (exclusion or disadvantage). tagesspiegel.de

This shows that loneliness and anxiety are not only "internal to the individual" but are closely linked to social atmosphere, politics, discourse, security, and changes in values.
When the sense of "being able to live safely" is shaken, people want to "confirm with someone" or "ask if it's okay to be here." Helplines serve as that receptacle.

Who Supports Helplines: 7,800 Volunteers and "One Year of Training"

TelefonSeelsorge is supported by about 7,800 volunteers nationwide, who undergo a year of preparation and training before starting activities and continue to learn continuously. tagesspiegel.de

It is often thought that "anyone can just answer the phone," but the reality is the opposite.
Listening without judging the other person, assessing crises, connecting to specialized institutions if necessary, and maintaining boundaries (avoiding dependency or excessive expectations)—these skills require training and cannot be left to individual goodwill alone.

"Connecting Itself" Is Becoming Difficult: Financial Struggles and Sustainability of Support

The article also discusses the difficulty of fundraising. With church tax funding shrinking and federal and state subsidies decreasing, there is an increasing reliance on donations to maintain a 24/7 operation. tagesspiegel.de

Support is vital "when needed."
Therefore, it is also necessary to be aware of the reality that such infrastructure does not "continue as a matter of course."

To Japanese Readers: Even the Same "Loneliness" Tends to Stop "Before Putting It into Words" in Japan

From here, let's shift the perspective slightly for Japanese readers.

In Japan, there is a strong sense of "not wanting to bother others" or "is it okay to consult about this?" which makes it easy to internalize suffering before verbalizing it. Moreover, loneliness is hard to see. Work is being done, housework is managed, and social media can be updated. Therefore, it is difficult for those around to notice.

However, the value of helplines is that "you can start from a state where you can't explain well."
It's okay to cry. It's okay to have silence. It's okay if it's not organized. Consultations are not just for "completed problems."

Tips for Making Consultation a Little Easier: No Need for "Skill" in Phone or Chat

Here are some useful thoughts when using phone or chat consultations.

1) The Goal Is Not "Resolution" but "10% Lighter" Is Also OK

Rather than changing your life with one consultation, it's enough if the pressure on your heart decreases a little, the probability of sleeping increases, or you can see the next step.

2) Have a Template for the First Words

For example

• "I'm very anxious right now and want to talk to someone."

• "I can't even organize what's troubling me."

• "It gets tough at night."
  Starting with this level is fine.

3) If It's Hard to Connect, It's "Line Congestion" Not "Your Value"

Depending on the service, there may be congestion, and you may need to call back several times (there are official notices about this). Inochi no Denwa
Not being able to connect ≠ rejection.

Consultation Services Available in Japan (Japanese and English)

※If there is an immediate danger to life, or if you feel you might harm yourself or others right now, prioritize Japan's emergency services (110/119) without hesitation.

Japanese: National Consultation Service Guide (Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare)

The Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare provides a summary of helpline services such as "#Inochi SOS" and "Yorisoi Hotline." Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare

Japanese: Inochi no Denwa (National List