One in three people believe "wives should obey their husbands" — Why is there a backlash among Gen Z men in what should be an era of equality?

One in three people believe "wives should obey their husbands" — Why is there a backlash among Gen Z men in what should be an era of equality?

1) The Moment the Assumption "Gen Z = Progressive" Crumbles

"The younger the generation, the more progressive they are towards gender equality"—we might have unconsciously believed in such an "automatic progression of the times." However, a global survey released in conjunction with International Women's Day (IWD) 2026 strongly challenges this assumption.


According to the survey, 31% of Gen Z men (born between 1997 and 2012) answered that "a wife should always obey her husband," and 33% said "important decisions should ultimately be made by the husband." In comparison, among Baby Boomer men (born between 1946 and 1964), the figures were 13% and 17%, respectively. Far from "the younger, the more equal," a traditional view of marriage is becoming stronger among some young men.


What is important here is that the numbers do not indicate that "all Gen Z men have become conservative." While 31% is shocking, it also means 69% do not agree. Nevertheless, this is a significant enough group to change the social atmosphere. Moreover, this group is linked not only to "power in marriage" but also to views on women's independence, sexual norms, and the norms of masculinity.


2) It's Not Just About Marriage—"Women Shouldn't Be Too Independent" and "A Real Woman Should..."

The survey highlighted more than just decision-making within the home. 24% of Gen Z men responded that "women should not appear too independent or self-sufficient" (compared to 12% of Baby Boomer men). Furthermore, 21% of Gen Z men agreed that "a 'real woman' should not initiate sexual activity" (compared to 7% of Baby Boomer men). Agreement from women in the same generation is low.


This set of beliefs suggests the possibility that the hierarchy of "obey at home" and the suppression of "don't step forward outside" and "don't have sexual agency" are being discussed continuously. This is not the "lingering scent of patriarchy" but rather a "re-edited patriarchy" emerging.


3) Yet "Career Women Are Attractive"—Not a Contradiction but a "Coexistence"

However, concluding this survey as simply "young men have become conservative" misses something. At the same time, 41% of Gen Z men agree that "women with successful careers are attractive to men," surpassing Baby Boomers (27% for both men and women).


What exists here is not so much a "contradiction" as a duality.

  • They seek earning power and social success in partners (modern)

  • Yet they also seek final decision-making power and obedience at home (traditional)


This duality sometimes aligns with the realities of the modern love and marriage market. Dual-income is the norm, life is tough, but there isn't enough leeway to "bear the entire household expenses alone." Thus, a "convenient combination" arises where they want partners to earn outside but don't want to give up control at home. In other words, it's not just a matter of values but also a placement of desires created by the structure of life.


4) The Gap Between "My Opinion" and "Public Opinion" Hardens the Atmosphere

Even more intriguing is the gap between "personal opinion" and "what society supposedly thinks." In the survey, the majority personally believe in "equal sharing of childcare, housework, and income," and agreement with traditional roles like women should handle most childcare (17%), housework (16%), or men should handle most earning (24%) is not necessarily the majority.


However, when asked, "Do you think most people in your country think this way?" more people "imagine" that traditional roles are deeply rooted. The belief that society is conservative creates self-censorship and pressure to conform, which in turn materializes a conservative atmosphere—this structure is even more likely to strengthen in the age of social media.


5) Reactions on Social Media: Anger, Sarcasm, Relativization, and Personal Narratives Erupt Simultaneously

This kind of topic ignites on social media. Indeed, overseas media have picked it up one after another, and four major types of reactions stand out in comment sections and quoted posts.


(1) Anger: That's Not Partnership, It's Domination
"If you want obedience, bear equal or greater responsibility"
"It's absurd to want only power while treating housework and childcare as 'help'"
Such backlash is particularly strong in countries and communities where the word "obey" easily connects with experiences of violence or economic control.


(2) Sarcasm: If You Want to Return to the 1950s, Return the Wages Too?
"It's impossible to revert roles to the past when it's not an era where one income can support a family"
"Dual-income is a given, but the husband has decision-making power at home, is too convenient"
These "structural criticism" posts spread easily because they can pierce contradictions with short words.


(3) Relativization: Don't Ignore Culture, Religion, and Definitions of Words
"It's crude to directly translate 'obey' as submission"
"Family views differ by country. It's dangerous to condemn based on averages"
There are also opinions like this. The survey is an average across 29 countries, and there are variations by country. Calmness is needed here.


(4) Personal Narratives: "Not in My Circle" / "In My Circle"
On social media, personal experiences often outweigh data. "Real Gen Z men are kind," "On the contrary, more people are dominant on dates"—opposite experiences run parallel, dividing the debate. However, the fact that experiences are divided itself is evidence that "norms differ by community."


Moreover, on platforms like LinkedIn, where a relatively "real-name culture" is strong, longer posts and comments that organize why the "obey" norm persists and that mutual respect is necessary for stable marriages stand out. Apart from the heat of the controversy, there is certainly a layer trying to rebuild the discussion with words.


6) Why Is There a "Backlash" Among Some Young Men? (Three Hypotheses)

From here on, these are hypotheses based on data and the social media atmosphere, not definitive conclusions.


Hypothesis A: Equality Appears "Zero-Sum"
59% of Gen Z men feel that "men are being asked to do 'too much' for equality." When equality appears as "someone's gain = my loss," the idea of "regaining" control at home easily arises.


Hypothesis B: The More Unstable the Times, the More Attractive "Role Clarity" Becomes
The stronger the economic, employment, and future uncertainties, the more people seek "forms" over complex negotiations. The husband decides, the wife obeys—even if it's unequal, the cost of decision-making decreases. However, that "ease" imposes a burden on one side.


Hypothesis C: Social Media Amplifies "Strong Words"
Short videos and strong assertions are easily spread. Templates like "men are this," "women are that" are closer to pleasure than understanding. The more extreme norms stand out, the more the moderate middle ground remains silent, reinforcing the misconception that "the world is conservative after all."


7) So, What to Do?—Turn Numbers into "Entrances for Dialogue"

What this survey confronts us with is not so much the regression of values themselves but the reality that "division is progressing within the same generation." Even among men, among women, and among the same age, the worlds they see are different.


Therefore, what is needed is not a victory that silences the other party but a redesign of the rules.

  • Treat housework and childcare as "joint responsibility" rather than "help"

  • Decide the distribution of income, care, and decision-making by agreement, not by gender

  • Reframe equality not as zero-sum but as "avoiding life's checkmate (avoiding burnout)"


Behind the words "a wife should obey" lie fear, anxiety, desire for approval, and the assumption that "society is like this." Data can become a cudgel for condemnation, but it can also be a map for dialogue. The choice we should make is the latter use.


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