The Cost of "Blessings" — What South Africa's 'Blessers' Take from Young Women: Challenges Facing South African Society

Prologue: Behind the Glitter

In South Africa, the term "blesser" has become widely recognized, referring to older, relatively wealthy men who seek relationships with younger women, offering them money, tuition, branded goods, and a "glamorous" lifestyle in exchange for companionship, including sexual relations. Recent research, supported by nationwide data, has confirmed that this relationship, while offering short-term benefits, conceals heavy costs such as increased HIV risk, unintended pregnancies, and cycles of violence.Phys.org

Core of the New Study: A "Consistent Picture" from National Data

The study was conducted across eight of South Africa's nine provinces, targeting more than 3,000 sexually active adolescent and young women (AGYW). Approximately 5.7% reported having had a relationship with a blesser, while over 25% were involved in "age-disparate relationships" with partners five or more years older. When both factors (blesser × age disparity) overlap, the risks of HIV/STIs, intimate partner violence (IPV), and teenage pregnancy are higher than in peer relationships. Notably, "blessers" of the same age group are relatively few, and although condom use is slightly higher, the impact of age disparity on pregnancy remains significant, highlighting an overall disadvantage.Phys.org

The "Structure" Behind It

The spread of "blessers" in South Africa is not merely a matter of personal preference. It is intertwined with some of the world's worst economic inequalities, high youth unemployment, and a cultural context where conspicuous consumption holds strong currency value. Access to upward mobility—through smartphones, clothing, and urban luxury spaces—emerges as a tangible allure for young women.Phys.org

The "Five Pathways" of Rising Risk

The study also elucidates the "pathways" of risk: ① Age and power asymmetry: Decision-making power is concentrated with the older partner, complicating contraceptive negotiations. ② Reduced bargaining power: Economic dependence makes it difficult to say "no." ③ Concurrent multiple partnerships: Increases infection risk. ④ Economic lock-in: Tuition and household support create a sense of inescapability, forcing relationship continuation. ⑤ Pressure to flaunt status: Approval and envy drive conformity. These are structural mechanisms that cannot be resolved by attributing individual responsibility.Phys.org

Numbers Reveal the Imbalance

The HIV prevalence rate among South African women aged 15–24 is 6.9%, nearly double that of their male counterparts at 3.5%. Unwanted pregnancies lead to educational disruption and loss of employment opportunities, and when combined with violence, they leave lasting scars on long-term health, income, and well-being. Nationwide results show that this pattern exists broadly, beyond isolated case studies.Phys.org

Qualitative Research Complements the "Inner Voices"

Qualitative research conducted in KwaZulu-Natal during 2017–2018 depicts the coexistence of "exhilaration" and "emptiness" brought about by blesser relationships, along with guilt, stigma, fear of HIV and unintended pregnancies, and the compelling pull of "social rewards" that are nevertheless pursued. When combined with the latest quantitative findings, it becomes clear that the gap between short-term visible benefits and long-term invisible costs makes women's preferences vulnerable.Nature

Social Media Reaction: Both Affirmation and Criticism Ultimately Tied to "Structure"

In response to the research reports, polarized voices emerged on social media.

• "Personal Responsibility" Argument: Criticism of the trend to acquire urban living standards "in fast-forward." Indeed, on South African online forums, there are notable experiences that "dating apps have become platforms for 'blesser hunting.'"Reddit

• "Structural Pressure" Argument: The reality of unemployment, tuition, and family support narrowing choices. In reactions to republished articles in African regional media, empathetic comments such as "'Blessing' is a byproduct of inequality" are common (republished from The Conversation).allAfrica.com

Additionally, culture-focused media have discussed the "blesser culture" as a phenomenon where extreme inequality and digital-era conspicuous consumption intersect, contextualizing it within influencer culture and the "soft life" trend. These discussions do not so much "justify" as they make visible the atmosphere in which choices arise.2oceansvibe.com

"What Should Be Done"—Four-Point Set to Increase Options for Those Involved

The study also proposes solutions: ① Practical education on sexual rights, dynamics, and health, ② Expansion of economic opportunities (scholarships, cash transfers, job training), ③ Mentoring and safe spaces (peer support), ④ Interventions on gender norms (involving men, families, and community). The goal is to increase options that replace "short-term survival" with "long-term independence" in a tangible way.Phys.org

Hints for On-Site Implementation: Checklist

• Schools: Incorporate "power negotiation" modules into SRH (sexual and reproductive health) education. Make practice of saying "no" visible through role-play.

• Local NGOs: Design scholarships and food support to run alongside peer groups. Ensure economic support does not become a mere "transfer of dependency."

• Healthcare: Make youth-friendly HIV prevention (PrEP and testing) and contraceptive access available immediately.

• Government and Municipalities: Bundle entrepreneurship and employment programs for young women with SRH policies. Use qualitative evaluations to visualize "effective elements." In fact, group interventions for AGYW have been reported locally to enhance self-efficacy and challenge norms, potentially changing behavior choices.
  MDPI

Is It Still "Personal Choice"?

The issue of "blessers" is not one of morality but of choice. Towards a society where young women do not have to sacrifice long-term health, education, and freedom for short-term safety. The voices of research, fieldwork, and cries on social media all point in the same direction toward this simple yet challenging task.Phys.org

References (Main Sources)

• Phys.org "Sex for money: Study reveals the harm that 'blessers' can do to young women" (Republished from The Conversation, November 5, 2025).Phys.org

• Qualitative research in Humanities and Social Sciences Communications (Nature Portfolio) (2024).Nature

• Related thread on Reddit r/askSouthAfrica (2025).Reddit

• Republished article from The Conversation by AllAfrica.allAfrica.com

• Republished article from The Conversation by Tolerance.ca.tolerance.ca

• Qualitative evaluation of group interventions for AGYW (2025).MDPI