Is it Okay to Have Smartphones at the Dining Table? Exploring the Right Balance through Overseas Surveys and Social Media

How does your companion feel about using your phone during meals? 63% in Germany find it "rude" according to a survey

Just as the meal is served, you snap a photo. Then you check your notifications and reply to a message. Before you know it, your companion has started eating in silence.

For the person using the phone, it might be just a brief check, but for the one waiting, it feels like a different time. "Is someone on the other side of the screen more important than dining with me?" Such small misunderstandings are more likely to occur because smartphones have become integrated into our lives.

A survey reported in Germany quantified the resistance to smartphone use at the dining table. This is not only about how devices are used but also about how attention is directed to the person you are with, which is relevant to dining with family or friends in Japan as well.

63% find phone use during meals "rude"

According to an article by dpa-AFX published by Aktiencheck on October 25, 2026, a survey conducted by Civey at the request of the telecommunications company Vodafone, involving about 2,500 people, found that 63% felt it was "rude" for a dining companion to use a smartphone.

The figure was even higher at 71% for phone use during face-to-face conversations. It was 40% for a first date, 34% when a companion uses a phone in a cinema or theater, and 21% during meetings at work or when with a partner in bed.

However, feeling that phone use during meals is rude is not the same as wanting to completely ban smartphones at the table. Treating the 63% figure as a rate of support for a ban would be inaccurate.

Also, from the 34% result regarding cinemas and theaters, it cannot be read that the remaining people approve of phone use during screenings or performances. The article does not show the entire questionnaire or the response options, so it is not possible to determine the specific tolerance range from this figure alone.

Between "I dislike when others use it" and "I use it a bit myself"

Regarding their own behavior, 17% said they at least occasionally use their phone during meals. It was 9% during face-to-face conversations, 6% in cinemas or theaters, and 2% on a first date.

There is room to consider the difference between the perspective of evaluating others' actions and explaining one's own actions.

When checking their phone, people might have reasons like "it's a work message," "it's a reply to family," or "it will be quick." However, the person sitting across does not see these reasons. What they see is the gaze shifting to the screen mid-conversation and delayed responses.

Nonetheless, it cannot be concluded from the aggregates in this article alone that the same people are strict with others but lenient with themselves. It is unknown to what extent those who answered "rude" overlap with those who answered "I use it myself."

Moreover, the frequency of use is self-reported and not the result of observing and counting actual dining tables. These numbers should be taken as clues to understanding awareness and self-perception.

Debate on social media too—"The meaning of being together" and "a short break"

Opinions about smartphones at the dining table have been exchanged on overseas social media for some time.

The following is not a direct reaction to the German survey but a summary of public posts and comments on Reddit addressing the same theme. It does not indicate the overall trend of public opinion or social media in Japan.

One post expressed the idea that the dining table is a place to share the day's events, joys, and concerns. It views dining not merely as the act of eating in the same place but as time to maintain relationships.

Another discussion distinguished between briefly checking a phone when the conversation pauses and continuously browsing social media while the other person is talking. The stance was that during long interactions, it is difficult to maintain focus, and having a short break is acceptable.

On the other hand, there was a counterargument that pulling out a phone the moment a conversation pauses gives the impression of "not wanting to talk anymore." Some comments suggested explaining in advance if waiting for an important message during a meal with a business associate.

The conflict is not necessarily about "liking or disliking smartphones." It reflects differences in what is expected during shared time and how silence is perceived.

In Japanese dining, "what it's used for" should not be overlooked

This survey was conducted in Germany, and the 63% figure cannot be directly introduced as Japanese awareness.

However, there are perspectives that can be useful when considering Japanese dining tables.

For example, opening the order screen at a restaurant, checking the train schedule for the way home, confirming a pickup message from family, or showing photos of a travel destination discussed together. These are all acts of using a smartphone, but they differ in purpose from continuously watching videos, leaving companions behind.

What can serve as a clue for judgment is how that use relates to "the time with the person you are with now."

Looking at photos mentioned in conversation together might expand the discussion. Conversely, if you start replying to another notification from the screen opened to show photos, your companion will end up waiting.

It's not just about whether you picked up the phone, but for what purpose and how quickly you return. Being conscious of these differences is important.

Before a total ban, share purposes and exceptions

When wanting to reduce smartphone use at the dining table, declaring a "ban" right away can make the handling of devices itself a contentious issue.

First, express the feeling of why you want it put away.

"During meals, I want to talk about what happened today."
"When you look at the screen while I'm talking, it feels like you're not listening."

By communicating this way, the discussion shifts from the pros and cons of smartphones to how to spend time together.

Specific measures could include small agreements like the following:

• Put away the phone after completing orders or necessary checks.
• If waiting for an urgent message, communicate this before the meal.
• Take photos of the food briefly and post them after the meal.
• Apply family rules equally to both children and adults.
• Allow exceptions for necessary use, such as responding to messages or providing life support.

This is not a method verified by the survey but a proposal for practice at the dining table. The focus should be on finding a mutually agreeable form rather than perfectly adhering to it every time.

Consider "eating alone" and "eating with someone" separately

Another point not to overlook is that the focus here is on "the smartphone use of the person you are with."

Reading an article while having lunch alone and scrolling through social media while a friend is consulting you are different situations. There is no need to uniformly criticize all acts of looking at a screen during meals based on these figures.

Even with the same two people dining, expectations change depending on whether it's a long-awaited reunion or a brief daily meal. If both parties are content with spending their time individually, the quality of the relationship cannot be judged from the outside.

Problems are more likely to arise when one person wants to enjoy a conversation while the other, unaware of this expectation, turns to the screen.

Putting down the phone is a small response to the other person

The debate about smartphones at the dining table is not about banishing a convenient tool from life.

The survey highlighted that many people feel it is rude when someone uses their smartphone during meals or conversations. Even a trivial check for the user can signal to the companion, "I prioritize this over you right now."

Therefore, explaining briefly when necessary and closing the screen once done can change the message conveyed to the other person.

What you might want to try at your next meal is not a strict ban but lifting your eyes from the smartphone to continue listening to the conversation. Redirecting your attention to the person in front of you is a small gesture that says, "I value the time spent with you."

Sources

1. Aktiencheck/dpa-AFX "Umfrage: Zwei Drittel wollen keine Handys am Esstisch"
   Published on October 25, 2026. Source of the number of respondents in the Vodafone-commissioned Civey survey, scene-specific awareness, and self-reported usage frequency.
   https://www.aktiencheck.de/news/Artikel-Umfrage_Zwei_Drittel_wollen_keine_Handys_am_Esstisch-20198147

2. Reddit/r/GenX "Do you feel that cell phones at the dinner table are acceptable, and why please?"
   A public post viewing the dining table as a place to share daily events and feelings. Not a direct reaction to the current survey, but referenced as related opinions on social media.
   https://www.reddit.com/r/GenX/comments/14hxjzp/do_you_feel_that_cell_phones_at_the_dinner_table/reddit.com

3. Reddit/r/unpopularopinion "It's not rude to use the phone during going out dinner"
   Referenced opinions that recognize phone use during conversation breaks, emphasize attention to companions, and suggest explaining important messages in advance. The main points were summarized in the text.
   https://www.reddit.com/r/unpopularopinion/comments/zv21kf/its_not_rude_to_use_the_phone_during_going_out/