"Is Talking About Income Taboo?" Exploring the Subtle Boundaries in Modern Society

Why Asking "How Much Do You Earn?" Changes the Atmosphere—What We Lose by Not Talking About Salaries

Conversations about travel destinations or recent purchases can be lively. Complaining about work stress is also something we can do without hesitation. However, the moment someone asks, "By the way, how much do you earn?" we start choosing our words carefully.

If I answer honestly, will it sound like bragging? If I earn less than the other person, what will they think? Why do they want to know in the first place?

Discussing salaries is difficult because it feels like it doesn't end with just conveying a number.

An article published by Germany's HNA on October 4, 2026, addressed this common awkwardness. Margarete Honisch, a financial expert and founder of Fortunalista featured in the article, explains that salary discussions can easily become emotional because income is often tied to job performance and personal value.

Note that the original article is a content partnership with Fortunalista and includes information about a free webinar on salary negotiation. It should be read as an expert explanation rather than an independent academic report.

Nevertheless, the questions raised by the article are also relevant to those of us working in Japan. While avoiding salary discussions can protect certain things, remaining ignorant can also lead to losses.

How Salary Discussions Suddenly Become "Self-Evaluation"

For example, imagine finding out that a friend who graduated in the same year is earning more than you.

In reality, industries, companies, work locations, and job responsibilities differ. A difference in income doesn't explain the reasons behind it. Still, you might feel like you're falling behind.

Being in the opposite position isn't necessarily comfortable either. If people know you earn a lot, they might expect you to cover meal expenses. Even if you talk about work troubles, they might dismiss it with, "Well, you're earning that much, so it's fine." Such concerns might lead some to give vague answers.

Thus, salary becomes not only compensation for labor but also information that could alter human relationships.

However, salary amounts involve not only personal effort but also the company's business structure, hiring conditions, demand for the job, and responsibilities entrusted. The size of the amount cannot be a measure of a person's sincerity or life fulfillment.

The Problem of "Not Knowing, So Can't Negotiate"

On the other hand, if you never discuss salaries with anyone, your means to verify your own treatment are limited.

Is your current salary reasonable? Is the increase in your responsibilities being recognized? If someone with similar experience moves to another company, what conditions are they offered?

With limited comparative materials, when considering your desired salary, you might easily think, "A little more than now is enough." However, the current amount is based on conditions set in the past. If your job content or responsibilities have changed, starting only from there might overlook differences that need to be reviewed.

The HNA article also points out that past salaries may not necessarily match current job requirements.

Exchanging information with acquaintances can be valuable as it provides an opportunity to reassess conditions you thought were a given.

"Helpful" and "Awkward" on Social Media

The question of whether to discuss salaries is also debated on overseas social media and online forums.

What is introduced here is not a direct reaction to the HNA article, but summaries of posts publicly available on the same theme. These are personal anecdotes, not surveys representing the opinion of society as a whole.

On Reddit's career guidance community, there are comments that discussing salaries in the past was beneficial for both the person and those involved in the conversation. This perspective sees sharing salaries as an exchange of information to improve each other's working conditions.

Conversely, some believe it's okay to share with colleagues depending on the situation, but they want to draw a line with friends. In the same discussion, there are experiences shared where expressing dissatisfaction with one's salary made a friend, who thought their lower income wasn't bad in their industry, feel uncomfortable.

This misunderstanding is easy to imagine. Even if someone is just voicing dissatisfaction with their employer, the listener might feel as if their own lifestyle is being undervalued.

Salary discussions can simultaneously be useful information and emotionally stirring. Therefore, consideration of the purpose of the conversation and the listener's reception is necessary.

When Comparing in Japan, First Confirm "Are the Numbers the Same"

When considering this topic in Japan, it's important to pay attention to the breakdown of salaries.

Hearing "monthly salary of 300,000 yen" alone isn't sufficient for comparison. Is it gross or net? Does it include overtime pay? Are bonuses separate? Are the working hours the same?

To organize conditions, the following points should be aligned.

Even if the annual income is the same, the working conditions differ if it is earned through long hours versus relatively short hours. Conversely, even a high-paying job may not necessarily align well with the lifestyle one values.

The meaning of comparison lies not in deciding "won" or "lost," but in understanding what conditions you are exchanging for your compensation.

Public Salary Data Also Requires Careful Reading

If it's difficult to ask someone close, you can also investigate using publicly available information.

The Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare's occupational information site "job tag" allows you to check statistical information on wages and working hours along with job descriptions.

However, the site explains that the statistics published do not necessarily represent only that occupation. This is because multiple occupations may be included in a single occupational classification.

Therefore, you cannot judge that "if it's this occupation, I will definitely earn this amount" just by looking at the displayed annual income.

The amounts written in job postings also need to be viewed in conjunction with the roles and experience conditions being recruited. By comparing public statistics, multiple job postings, and real examples shared with consent, you become less influenced by the salary of just one acquaintance.

Even high-income posts that stand out on social media are limited as judgment materials if the conditions for comparison are unknown. It's more important to confirm the closeness to your own job than the size of the numbers you see.

Conversations You Can Have Without Asking About Someone's Salary

The entry point to discussing salaries isn't just "How much do you earn?"

For example, the following ways of asking allow you to convey your purpose while leaving the other person the option to choose.

"I'm researching the market for the next evaluation meeting. What salary range do you think is typical for this type of work?"

"You don't have to mention the amount. What achievements did you explain during your raise?"

"If it's difficult to answer, feel free to skip it, but was there a review of your treatment when your role increased?"

Even conversations that only share salary ranges, discuss evaluation systems, or exchange useful information sources can be beneficial.

Those asking should not pursue if declined. Also, just because you've disclosed your salary doesn't mean you can expect the same disclosure from the other person. It's also essential to avoid sharing the information with others without the person's consent.

An environment where you can talk freely also needs room to not talk freely.

In Salary Negotiations, Connect Others' Figures to Explain Your Work

Even after obtaining comparative information, how you use it is crucial.

It's natural to feel, "I want a raise because I'm earning less than my colleagues." However, just that might not convey what aspects of your work or evaluation you want reviewed.

For meetings, you should organize your work details. Consider the expanded scope of responsibilities since joining, the decisions and responsibilities you undertake, improved work methods, and ongoing training or coordination you handle.

Then, compare with external salary information and explain the basis for your desired treatment.

For example, you could say, "Since my scope of responsibilities has expanded this much, I'd like to discuss the evaluation and salary for my current role." Even if immediate revision is difficult, there is room to confirm what conditions need to be met for a review and when you can discuss it again.

Gathering information doesn't guarantee a raise. However, it provides material to specifically question and assess your treatment.

Is It Okay for Only Those Who Can Talk to Benefit?

There are limits to trying to solve this issue solely through individual conversation skills.

If only those with many acquaintances or those accustomed to negotiation can grasp salary trends, there will be disparities in opportunities to obtain information. It's also meaningful for companies to clearly explain salary ranges by job and grade, conditions for raises, and evaluation systems.

Even without knowing colleagues' salaries, understanding what your salary is based on and how it can change reduces the need to intrude into someone's personal life for comparison.

It's not strange to hesitate when asked, "How much is your annual income?" because it involves life, effort, and relationships.

However, feeling uncomfortable discussing salaries and thinking about your treatment can be separated. Gather information within the scope you wish to discuss and verify your job conditions. You don't need numbers that appear more impressive than others to do so.

Sources and References

1. HNA: Explanation on the Taboo of Salary that Served as the Starting Point for the Article
   Published on October 4, 2026, written by Giuliana Gospodarek. A partnership article with Fortunalista, including expert explanations and webinar information.
   https://www.hna.de/wirtschaft/wie-viel-verdienst-du-warum-diese-frage-noch-immer-unangenehm-ist-zr-94520184.html

2. Reddit・r/careerguidance: Pros and Cons of Sharing Salaries with Colleagues and Friends
   Referring to summaries of comments like "Sharing was helpful," "Want to draw a line with friends," and "Complaints about salary hurt a friend." These are not direct reactions to the original article but related public posts.reddit.com
   https://www.reddit.com/r/careerguidance/comments/rqdqxw/

3. Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare・job tag: Source of Salary Statistics and Usage Notes
   Refer to FAQ Q2 and Q5. Confirmed the difference between occupational classification and listed occupations, and that statistics do not necessarily represent only specific occupations.Occupational Information Provision Site (job tag)
   https://shigoto.mhlw.go.jp/User/faq