"Divorce is Not a Failure": How Gen Z is Redefining the Rules of Marriage and Happy Endings: The Art of "Smart Separation" as Taught by Gen Z

"We got divorced!"

A TikTok video of a young couple laughing and high-fiving while declaring their divorce is going viral on English-speaking social media. Divorce, once a symbol of tears and regret, is now being consumed as an event of celebration and liberation—a shift in values that defines Generation Z.

The Independent reports that through interviews with young divorcees and lawyers in America, the image of divorce is shifting from "something shameful" to "a wise choice, sometimes even a 'chic' life stage."The Independent

From "Divorce isn't the end of life" to "Divorce allowed me to restart my life"

Michelle Jans, featured in the article, is a content creator who married at 21 and divorced at 24. One day, she discovered her husband's infidelity, abruptly ending their three-year marriage. She candidly shares her experience on YouTube, reflecting on her "narcissistic and emotionally abusive marriage," yet tells her followers, "The future is brighter" and "I found new love after the divorce."The Independent

What she saw was a community of "young divorcees" encouraging each other online. There,

• "Divorce = Failure" is replaced with "A decision to protect oneself"

• "Endurance is a virtue" is replaced with "The courage to reclaim one's happiness"
  as positive words are exchanged.

For Generation Z, continuing a dysfunctional marriage out of inertia is seen as "wasteful." Supported by these words on social media, she came to think, "I didn't fail; I minimized the time spent with the wrong person."

Celebrities also support the "Divorce Chic" culture

This shift in values is also evident in celebrity culture. Model Emily Ratajkowski made headlines by transforming her engagement ring into a "divorce ring" after her divorce, and Kim Kardashian and musician Jack White celebrated "new beginnings" with divorce parties.The Independent

On TikTok, popular influencers describe divorce as "chic," captioning their videos with "in my divorce era." Divorce is no longer a "dark chapter" of life but is being portrayed as a "rebranding of one's personal narrative."The Independent

While marriages are decreasing, "end it early if it doesn't fit"

In fact, Generation Z is a generation that "doesn't marry much" to begin with. In the U.S., the average age for first marriages has risen to 28.6 for women and 30.2 for men, with the marriage rate for Generation Z at about 4%.The Independent

Nevertheless, there are young people in their late teens to early twenties who decide to marry, and they tend to end the marriage without hesitation the moment they feel "this isn't right."

According to Jenny Bradley, a divorce attorney in North Carolina,

• older generations (the so-called "gray divorce" demographic) often take years to decide after consulting

• whereas many Generation Z clients clearly state they "want to end it" from the first consultation

and have no hesitation in "changing the situation quickly rather than prolonging unhappiness."The Independent

The background to this is the vocabulary of "mental health" that has spread through social media and counseling culture.

• Gaslighting

• Narcissistic abuse

• Self-care

• Boundaries

Generation Z, who use these concepts as everyday language, find it easier to verbalize discomfort and warning signs. As a result, they are quicker to judge "this is an unhealthy relationship for me."

Does a prenup ruin romance? Or protect it?

Another significant change is the diminishing resistance to "prenups" (prenuptial agreements).

Jacqueline Newman, a lawyer in New York, states that prenuptial agreements now account for about 40% of her work.The Independent

A prenup is a contract that predetermines how to divide property and assets in the event of a divorce.

According to her, the reasons Generation Z is more accepting of prenups are as follows:

• They have seen the "messiness" of divorce up close
  Through celebrity gossip and family divorces, they know the "cost of conflict."

• Women's economic power has increased
  There is a strong awareness of "women wanting to protect their assets and careers."

• Marriage is clearly seen as a legal contract
  They question, "Why is it okay to handle marriage with 'love is enough' when other contracts involve lawyers?"

• 
  

Newman points out, "It may not sound romantic, but marriage is essentially a legal contract." Generation Z accepts this realism and tends to think, "If we're prepared, we can focus on love with peace of mind."The Independent

How is social media reacting?—Voices of support and skepticism

This "divorce chic" and "prenups as the norm" mood has sparked various opinions on social media. Below are summaries of actual posts and typical reactions.

Voices of support

"Our parents' generation seemed unhappy, enduring 'for the kids.' We don't want to make the same mistake" (20s female, TikTok)

"Prenups aren't 'assuming a breakup,' they're 'assuming no disputes.' It's like insurance" (20s male, Instagram)

"For those in DV or emotionally abusive relationships, seeing role models who show 'life goes on after divorce' is really significant" (30s female, X)

What is emphasized here is,

• the experience of seeing parents in unhappy marriages as a child

• the increase in economically independent women

• divorce as an escape route from psychological abuse

These perspectives highlight that "not tabooing divorce makes it easier to escape violent and exploitative relationships," which many users positively evaluate.

Voices of skepticism

On the other hand, there is a strong perspective that views this mood with a cool eye.

"Captions like 'in my divorce era' seem a bit too glamorized. The person might be deeply hurt" (20s female, TikTok)

"Marriage is indeed a contract, but seeing it treated like 'return if dissatisfied' makes me worry that efforts to nurture relationships will be undervalued" (30s male, X)

"Mental health jargon is used too casually, and even simple differences in values are labeled as 'toxic'" (20s non-binary, Instagram)

What they are concerned about is,

• divorce itself being consumed as entertainment content

• messages like "don't push yourself" and "self-affirmation" being replaced as excuses for "not trying"

• the structure where the "refreshing feeling of cutting ties" is amplified by algorithms over the possibility of repairing relationships

These are the points of concern.

Benefits and pitfalls: What Generation Z's view on divorce suggests

Generation Z's stance that "divorce ≠ defeat" clearly has positive aspects.

• It becomes easier to exit dangerous relationships early

• The social stigma against divorcees decreases

• It motivates thorough discussions about money and values before marriage

On the other hand,

• consuming divorce as content can trivialize the individual's pain

• only simplistic messages like "it's a bit tough, so let's break up" are highlighted

• prenups being seen as a "sign of distrust" rather than "insurance for love," potentially complicating relationships

These are the risks.

The important distinction is that "not shaming divorce" is not the same as "taking marriage lightly." In fact, many young divorcees featured in the article have attended couple therapy and had extensive discussions before deciding "it was still impossible."The Independent  They are choosing to part ways while still at an age where they can start over.

How should we in Japan perceive this?

In Japan, the psychological barrier to divorce and prenuptial agreements remains high. The concept of prenups is not as common as in English-speaking countries. Still,

• the number of dual-income couples is increasing, and economically equal partnerships are being sought

• the terms DV and emotional abuse are becoming widespread, and the "quality" of relationships is being questioned

• access to legal advice and counseling is gradually expanding

In these respects, there are similarities with the situation in the U.S.

While there is no need to imitate Generation Z's "divorce chic" culture directly,

• "Both marriage and divorce are just one of the choices in designing your life"

• "Don't avoid legal frameworks