Calculating the Cost of the "Risk of Being Disliked": The Spell of "Be Warm & Be Firm" ─ Solving the "Impossible Game" Imposed Only on Female Bosses with Data

"Gentle yet Firm"—The True Nature of the "Double Standards" Surrounding Female Managers

An article published on Phys.org on August 27, 2025 (U.S. time) visualized the invisible constraints that female managers face daily through the latest empirical research. A paper by Szu-Han (Joanna) Lin and others from the University of Georgia (UGA), published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, examines how gender stereotypes "deplete" the behavior of female leaders and how support from subordinates can mitigate these adverse effects through four studies.Physics NewsPubMed

Core Findings of the Study

• Difficulty in Giving Instructions: Female leaders are caught between the norm of being "warm" and "considerate" and the clear instructions and role expectations as a boss, which can suppress straightforward feedback and task clarification.Physics News

• Increased Psychological Depletion: The more female leaders try to demonstrate "firmness" while dealing with role incongruity, the more guilt, anxiety, and energy depletion they experience, leading to withdrawal behaviors (reduced engagement).Physics News

• Contrast with Men: Male leaders do not report stress from similar role expectations and are more likely to align with a "father knows best" self-image, being "paternal, compassionate, and authoritative."Physics News

• Buffering Effect of Follower Support: When team members appreciate their boss's contributions and show consideration, the depletion experienced by female leaders significantly decreases.Physics News

The paper, based on the "Conservation of Resources" and "Gender Role Theory," organizes the pathways through which role incongruity generates stress and depletion. The classic framework of Role Congruity Theory has explained that women are more likely to face a "double bind," being forced to choose between competence and likability due to the gap between the "assertiveness" and "decisiveness" expected of leaders and the "empathy" expected of women in general. This study reinforces the possibility that this structure can be resolved through the organizational variable of "subordinate support" from an empirical perspective.Wikipedia

Overview of the Four Research Designs

According to releases from Phys.org and UGA, the authors combined multiple samples and methods, confirming robustness through designs such as correlation, experimentation, and diary methods (details are in the JAP paper). While considering generalizability in practical contexts, the study tracks how follower cognition and behavior maintain the psychological resources of the boss.Physics NewsPubMedUGA Today

What's New

Existing discussions have depicted the "double standards" and "glass ceiling" faced by female leaders as structural issues. In contrast, this study presents a practical implication that **"followers influence outcomes."** In other words, not only systems and training but also the daily behavior of the team (evaluation, appreciation, support) determines the performance and health of the boss.Physics News

Reactions on SNS (August 27–29 JST)

In the days immediately following the publication, three types of reactions were prominent on SNS (※ this discussion connects to existing double bind and queen bee syndrome debates).

1. Supportive and Empathetic Group: Voices from the field saying, "The conflicting demands of 'be gentle, but be strong' have been visualized," and "Boss support (feedback to the boss, verbalizing achievements) is key." Posts nodding to the difference in self-understanding on the male side, such as "father knows best."Physics News

2. Skeptical and Restrained Group: Questions about external validity, such as "individual differences are significant," "possible self-recognition bias," and "effects vary by industry and country." Threads referencing Role Congruity Theory (role incongruity) and queen bee syndrome (a controversial concept regarding relationships between female bosses and female subordinates) are cited.Wikipedia

3. Practical and Intervention Group: HR and field managers are discussing "follower education." Many proposals to incorporate behaviors that support the boss into systems, such as designing OKR/1on1, peer recognition, and formalizing **"positive dissent to the boss."** (Theoretical background mainly references the JAP paper and UGA release).Subordinate behaviorPubMedUGA Today

※ The SNS observations in this article summarize the themes and trends of the discussion and do not quote specific individual posts. Public information (academic and encyclopedic) is included for conceptual explanations.Wikipedia

How to Address Common Counterarguments

• "If you're competent, gender doesn't matter"
  While understandable as a field perception, meta-analyses and theories show that even the same behavior can lead to different evaluations. This study delves into the pathway where "evaluation bias" depletes the resources (energy) of the boss.Wikipedia

• "Friction among women (so-called queen bee) is the real issue"
  This label itself is controversial, with strong indications that it risks reproducing stereotypes. Before branding it as individual conflict, role incongruity and organizational design should be examined.Wikipedia

• "Mental aspects depend on individual strength"
  Even research from 10 years ago reported that the mental burden on female managers tends to increase due to structural factors (old but suggestive). This study is practical in that it presents support from subordinates as a "modifiable factor."SELF

Five "Follower-Led" Actions You Can Take Now

1. Visualizing Achievements: Share the boss's contributions to decision-making and resource coordination with the team weekly, even if just one line.Physics News

2. Rephrasing Requests and Complaints: Respond with constructive framing to "resolve task ambiguity" rather than using a "commanding tone."Physics News

3. Mutual Design of 1on1s: Regularly include **"checking support needs"** from subordinates to bosses, not just from bosses to subordinates.Physics News

4. Peer Recognition: Include bosses as targets (remove the implicit norm that "bosses are excluded").Physics News

5. Unifying Role Language: Clearly state the coexistence of "warmth" and "firmness" within the team, using **"it's okay to do both"** as a slogan.Wikipedia

Implications for HR and Management

• Revising Boss Evaluation Design: Introduce "perception of support and consideration by followers" as a secondary indicator in competency evaluations (focusing on the frequency of supportive actions, not a "popularity contest" for bosses).Physics News

• Shifting the Focus of Training: Instead of training only female managers, leverage follower behavior and surrounding systems.Physics