"Digital Parenting" Begins Before Parenthood—In the Smartphone Era, Families Need Balance More Than Prohibition

The relationship between parenting and digital technology can no longer be discussed solely in terms of "when to give a child a smartphone." For modern families, digital technology is not something that suddenly enters life after a child is born; it is quietly integrated into life even before becoming a parent.

Those hoping to conceive use apps to track ovulation, basal body temperature, and hormonal cycles. Once pregnancy is confirmed, apps for managing fetal movements, health, sleep, diet, and medical appointments become part of daily life. Notifications about the baby's growth at each week of pregnancy arrive, and the realization of becoming a parent grows even on the smartphone screen. Moreover, it has become common to view the child in the womb three-dimensionally through 4D ultrasound and share those images with family.

What the Crikey article raises is not simply rejoicing in the convenience of this situation or lamenting over-dependence on digital technology. Rather, the important thing is to consider early on how digital technology integrates into the inherently diverse and open concept of family, and how it changes the way parent-child relationships, emotions, memories, and responsibilities are held.

Digital parenting provides reassurance to parents. The ability to record changes in health during pregnancy, organize information to convey to doctors, quickly search for parenting questions, and send photos and videos to grandparents living far away are indeed supports that previous generations of parents did not have. Especially in the early, often isolating stages of parenting, the sense of being "connected to someone" that a smartphone provides is significant.

On the other hand, digital technology also amplifies anxiety. Parents may worry when comparing their child's growth to the averages shown by apps. They may feel down when comparing their reality to the "ideal parenting" seen on social media. The more they search, the more they encounter anxiety-inducing information. Every time they post a child's photo, concerns about privacy and future digital footprints come to mind. Convenience and anxiety coexist on the same screen.

Reactions on social media regarding this theme are not simply divided into pros and cons. Particularly noticeable in posts and forums by parents is the sentiment, "I know I should reduce screen time, but in real parenting, there are moments when screens are helpful." Watching a young child while cooking dinner, taking care of a younger sibling, working from home, or just needing a moment to regroup—many parents cannot completely deny using the TV or tablet for those few minutes.

In the Reddit parenting community, responses to inquiries about guilt over screen time often emphasize the importance of "what to watch," "where to watch," and "whether parents can be involved." For example, watching educational programs together in the living room is not the same as allowing unlimited viewing of video apps in a child's room. It's not just the length of time; content, location, parental involvement, and the child's condition should all be considered, and this realistic viewpoint is gaining support.

Additionally, the response that "screens are a tactic, not a strategy for parenting" is also striking. In other words, using screens is not inherently bad, but the problem arises when it continuously replaces parent-child conversations, play, sleep, meals, and outdoor activities. Thirty minutes of video viewing on a busy day can be a temporary means for parents to manage the household. However, if it becomes the daily focus and all emotional regulation and boredom tolerance are left to screens, different issues arise.

In recent years, posts related to "digital parenting" on X have prominently featured the tone that "screens are part of modern childhood, but balance is key." The focus has shifted from complete elimination to how to ensure healthy habits, outdoor play, sleep, and parent-child dialogue. Simply condemning "smartphones are bad" or "games are bad" as in the past does not reach real families. Parents are already struggling with how to design parenting that coexists with digital, rather than without it.

However, it is important to note that the word "balance" can easily become a convenient term that places responsibility solely on parents. Many video services, social media, games, and apps for children are designed to be used for extended periods. Notifications, autoplay, recommendations, rewards, rankings, and continuous viewing of short videos are mechanisms that are difficult even for adults to resist, and it is natural that children cannot self-regulate.

Nevertheless, society often tells parents to "manage properly." Limit screen time, avoid dangerous content, protect personal information, be aware of cyberbullying, utilize for learning, not overuse smartphones themselves, and engage attentively with children. As an ideal, this is correct. However, leaving all of this to the efforts of individual families is unrealistic.

The difficulty of digital parenting is also influenced by the family's economic situation and work style. In families with ample time, safe nearby play areas, and many options for lessons and outings, reducing screen time is relatively easy to implement. On the other hand, in families where parents work long hours, single-handed parenting continues, there are few safe places to play outside, or there are multiple siblings to care for, screens become not just entertainment but a tool to sustain life.

Therefore, discussions about screen time should not be turned into a moral debate about "good or bad parents." Instead, the questions to ask are what constitutes a high-quality digital experience for children, what systems can prevent parents from having to shoulder everything alone, whether tech companies are fulfilling their design responsibilities with children in mind, and how schools and communities can support families.

In digital parenting, it may be more important to have principles for each family than to increase the list of prohibitions. For example, not using screens during meals and in bedrooms, watching videos in the living room, choosing age-appropriate content, discussing what was watched, and reassessing usage if a child becomes irritable, sleep is disrupted, or outdoor play and social interactions decrease. Parents should also avoid being absorbed by smartphones in front of their children. These small rules are not a complete solution but can become a family axis.

Moreover, it is important for parents not to blame themselves too much. Social media is filled with perfect meals, tidy rooms, screen-free play, and calm parent-child time. However, actual parenting is a series of fatigue, work, housework, sleep deprivation, loneliness, and unexpected troubles. Letting a child watch a little video does not break the parent-child relationship. Rather, guilt can corner parents, and the relationship with the child can become strained, which can be more problematic.

On the other hand, it is not possible to justify all digital use simply because "it is realistically necessary." Children are more influenced by their environment than adults. Screens before sleep, overly stimulating short videos, age-inappropriate content, endless autoplay, and unsupervised social media use require caution. The more convenient the tool, the more its usage design is required.

Digital parenting is not just about protecting children from screens. It is also about nurturing children's ability to protect themselves, interact with others, discern information, and use it creatively in a digital society in the future. Thus, merely distancing screens is insufficient; learning how to engage with screens together is necessary.

The relationship with digital technology, starting from conception apps, pregnancy records, ultrasound images, parenting apps, photo sharing, video viewing, learning apps, games, and social media, changes shape as the child grows. Parents cannot have perfect answers from the beginning. Therefore, what is needed is the attitude of repeatedly discussing "what is important for our family" and updating according to the child's age and situation.

The word "balance" suggested by the Crikey article is not a sweet compromise. Rather, it is the most challenging attitude to avoid both excessive fear of digital technology and uncritical acceptance. Completely separating children from screens is not realistic in modern times. However, there is no need to entrust all of parenting to screens.

What is required of families in the digital age is not to reject technology but to not let technology dictate the shape of the family. Smartphones, apps, videos, and social media should remain tools that support family life, not the center of it. For this, not only parental efforts but also the responsibilities of companies, schools, communities, and policies need to be embraced.

Children do not grow up solely within screens. They grow up in the sound of their parents' voices, conversations at the dinner table, moments of boredom, outdoor light, conflicts with friends, and the sense of security before sleep. The real challenge of digital parenting is not just how many minutes to limit screen time. It is about how richly the world outside the screen can be preserved in a child's life. Every family is searching for their own answers to that question.

Source URL

Article published in Crikey. The article discusses how digital parenting begins from conception and pregnancy, embedding itself in family formation and parent-child relationships.
https://www.crikey.com.au/2026/06/15/digital-parenting-technology-social-media-parent-apps/

Profile of Professor Lelia Green. Used to confirm research background, affiliation, and area of expertise regarding children's digital lives.
https://digitalchild.org.au/team-members/professor-lelia-green/

Discussion on screen time in Reddit's r/Parenting. Used to understand parents' reactions on social media regarding "guilt," "realistic parenting," and "content quality."
https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/1oh9siw/how_do_you_realistically_manage_screen_time/

Search results for #digitalparenting on X. Used to confirm general posting trends with a focus on "balance" in digital parenting.
https://x.com/hashtag/digitalparenting?src=hash

UNICEF's Digital Parenting page. Used as supplementary information on the benefits, risks, and healthy digital habits within the family.
https://www.unicef.org/parenting/digital-parenting

Statement on screen time for young children by the Canadian Paediatric Society. Used to supplement perspectives on "minimizing, mitigating, mindful use, and parental modeling" of screen use.
https://cps.ca/en/documents/position/screen-time-and-preschool-children

Guide on media use in early childhood by Children and Screens. Used as supplementary information on face-to-face interactions, sleep, background media, and parents' own usage habits.
https://www.childrenandscreens.org/learn-explore/research/the-children-and-screens-guide-for-early-child-development-and-media-use-infants-and-children-ages-0-5/